So, I have been facilitating a small group, and we are studying the book by Francis Chan, Crazy Love. We just finished the 3rd chapter, and we viewed the video clip that supplemented the chapter. The author challenged groups to remember and define the moment in which we “got” how incredible and amazing God’s love is for us. At first, I struggled with this because having grown up in church and accepting Jesus at a young age, I felt like I “always” have known God’s love. However, He reminded me of a time in which I remember feeling like, “Whoa, really God? You would do that for me?” That is the moment I would like to share now (I shared this with my small group as well).
For reasons beyond our control, Josh and I weren’t sure that we would be able to have children (this is a whole other story I may share later). In fact, a doctor told us that we may want to look into other options if we wanted to start a family. So, we digested this information over a matter of months, and we accepted it and were satisfied that this was obviously God’s plan for us. Well, one week in April of 2007, we had a special guest speaker to our church who had a prophecy he felt God wanted him to communicate with Josh and me. I remember feeling a little wierd about it, but he said (in a nutshell) that our lives will never be the same and that something was coming to take us out of our comfort zone. That was on a Monday. I instantly knew that it was a baby and that I was pregnant, but I tried to forget about it and didn’t even say anything to Josh. I went through the week as normal, teaching 1st grade at school, helping at the church. By Thursday, I couldn’t stand the suspense any longer, so after my coffee house small group, I purchased a couple of pregnancy tests and secretly took one at home. It was… POSITIVE!! Since I never took one of those tests before, I took another one thinking there had to have been some mistake, but again… POSITIVE!!
It was then I realized just how much God loved me. He knew my innermost desire to be a mom, and He provided that sacred opportunity for me. The God who made the universe with thousands of galaxies, the God who made the earth, created the animals, and sent His Son to die for me…. It’s amazing that He would think of this for ME! After years of knowing He loved me, it was then that “I got it!”