A frustrating entry…

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Take a little time... Anna (18 mo.) smelling the roses!

For the most part, I feel I succumb to my frustrations quite easily, especially because presently, I work a “job” that I never leave!  When I was a teacher and faced frustrations with either coworkers, students, or parents, I could go home from my 8-5 job and find solace in my quiet house with my wonderful husband.  These days, I feel like I clean, cook, break up quibbles, mend toys, discipline, run errands, etc., etc., etc., all with two little girls by my side every step of the way!  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy being at home with my girls and the rewards are immense, but the late night yelps and frequent chasings back to bed (Anna), can add up and get me pretty frustrated!  Now, I would call these particular events “surface” frustrations because I have an inner battle and also get upset with myself as a mom, wife, daughter, and friend.  When I do things I’m not proud of, when I overreact to a simple problem, when I don’t call someone I know I should, when dinner isn’t “on time,”  and when I don’t respond with kindness, I often allow guilt to take place of the confidence and peace I previously had, and that makes me EVEN MORE frustrated!

Some may read this entry and think, “Gee, Christa, it’s so easy.  Just give it to God and He’ll take care of it!”  Honestly, I KNOW it’s really that easy and that the Lord will take my burden because He cares for me, but I’m one of those who like to just pick it back up again!  However, again, I’m a work in progress, relying on the immense grace of a Saviour who experienced frustrations even greater than those I do.  Just yesterday, I read in Mark 8:12, “He [Jesus] sighed deeply…”  In this passage, Jesus seems increasingly frustrated with those needing more and more signs that He is the Messiah or Son of Man.  I’m so glad my Lord knows how I feel, and now my task is to follow in His footsteps in dealing more effectively with them!

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2 thoughts on “A frustrating entry…

  1. Josh Fowler

    Always know, even in the midst of your frustration, that you are:
    loved, appreciated, amazing, beautiful, irreplaceable, cherished, inspiring, loving, encouraging, essential, gifted, priceless, creative, joyful, selfless…

    Thanks for your honest reflection. I love you!

  2. ellen fowler

    As I read your entry all I could keep thinking as I read it was, that you are just being a sleep deprived human being 🙂 The enemy certainly knows which buttons to push and when to push them and he enjoys making us feel guilty, but as you are seeing also, God is greater in us and brings us back to remembering that we are not alone and He is there to give strength to go on.
    As a once stay at home mom, I can certainly relate to all of the feelings that you’re sharing. I felt like I needed to be in control because I always had to be in control & take care of myself through my childhood so to even think that I had someone that wanted to help me ( the Lord & my husband) would make me feel guilty because I was thinking that I wasn’t doing my “job” well enough and I was like I was letting someone down. I am so incredibly thankful that the Lord and my husband had such patience with me and like all of us, I am still a work in progress, but I have learned the incredible lesson that neither God nor my husband will ever leave me or forsake me 🙂
    You are such a precious beautiful woman of God and even though the lessons can be hard and so can all of the sleepless nights, it is all worth it in the end and I promise the sleepless nights won’t last forever 🙂
    I love the comment that Josh put and I’m so glad that the Lord brought you two together.

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