So, the last few weeks I have been participating in an online Bible study with a large group of like-minded ladies, and we are studying the Bible along with the book, Unglued by Lysa TerKuerst. This past week, one of the chapters we studied was titled, “Negative Inside Chatter.” Although there is SO much great stuff in this book I have learned from, when I first looked at the title, I thought, “I don’t really need this. I’ve got my thought-life pretty positively secured.”
Uh oh… “Pride DOES come before the fall.” Thankfully, somewhere in the midst of my huge pride parade, there was room for the Holy Spirit to begin to speak to me, showing me areas in which I really haven’t surrendered in the area of my negative thoughts.
When I was finally honest with myself, I found that too often I tell myself I don’t measure up. As a mom, as a wife, as a neighbor, as a pastor’s wife, as a daughter, as a…. (my list goes on and on) I think, “Man, I wish I could lose about 20 pounds.” or “Why can’t I ALWAYS have it all together like that mom?” or “Why do I say STUPID things ALL the time?” I pound on myself from the inside out, and by golly, it has to stop!
Now, I know that some of you know that the purpose of this blog is to recount stories of my children and my life as a mom. Well, here’s one more thing I hope to pass on to my kids: that they KNOW just how fantastic they are, and that they don’t have to constantly compare themselves to others and have a negative, ungodly view of themselves. And, if I don’t want them to have an ungodly view of themselves, I need to be a better example of embracing and knowing that, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” It’s something I’m pretty sure I verbally tell and demonstrate to my kids about THEM. I think they are marvelous, creative, smart, beautiful, hilarious, etc. However, I also need to demonstrate who I am in Christ. Their mommy is creative, smart, beautiful, funny, and loving. (Can you believe that was difficult for me to write? The “beautiful” word was a complete struggle, but I’m a work in imperfect progress.) Why is it so hard to look at US the way God does?
I am so thankful for God’s graciousness as I pursue the calling He has placed on my heart. As I attack, head on, the lies of the enemy, I choose to use the Word of God as my shield to protect my mind and a sword, so that Satan and his deceitful ways can be defeated!
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13 & 14