Negative Inside Chatter

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So, the last few weeks I have been participating in an online Bible study with a large group of like-minded ladies, and we are studying the Bible along with the book, Unglued by Lysa TerKuerst.  This past week, one of the chapters we studied was titled, “Negative Inside Chatter.”  Although there is SO much great stuff in this book I have learned from, when I first looked at the title, I thought, “I don’t really need this.  I’ve got my thought-life pretty positively secured.”

Uh oh…  “Pride DOES come before the fall.”  Thankfully, somewhere in the midst of my huge pride parade, there was room for the Holy Spirit to begin to speak to me, showing me areas in which I really haven’t surrendered in the area of my negative thoughts.

When I was finally honest with myself, I found that too often I tell myself I don’t measure up.  As a mom, as a wife, as a neighbor, as a pastor’s wife, as a daughter, as a….  (my list goes on and on)  I think, “Man, I wish I could lose about 20 pounds.” or “Why can’t I ALWAYS have it all together like that mom?” or “Why do I say STUPID things ALL the time?”  I pound on myself from the inside out, and by golly, it has to stop!

Now, I know that some of you know that the purpose of this blog is to recount stories of my children and my life as a mom.  Well, here’s one more thing I hope to pass on to my kids: that they KNOW just how fantastic they are, and that they don’t have to constantly compare themselves to others and have a negative, ungodly view of themselves.  And, if I don’t want them to have an ungodly view of themselves, I need to be a better example of embracing and knowing that, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  It’s something I’m pretty sure I verbally tell and demonstrate to my kids about THEM.  I think they are marvelous, creative, smart, beautiful, hilarious, etc.  However, I also need to demonstrate who I am in Christ.  Their mommy is creative, smart, beautiful, funny, and loving.  (Can you believe that was difficult for me to write?  The “beautiful” word was a complete struggle, but I’m a work in imperfect progress.)  Why is it so hard to look at US the way God does?

I am so thankful for God’s graciousness as I pursue the calling He has placed on my heart.  As I attack, head on, the lies of the enemy, I choose to use the Word of God as my shield to protect my mind and a sword, so that Satan and his deceitful ways can be defeated!

For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully

 your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13 & 14

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7 thoughts on “Negative Inside Chatter

  1. Ellen

    I’m not sure I can really add anything to the other posts because they’ve all said what was on my heart 🙂 Christa you are a wonderful writer, God has given you so many wonderful gifts and one of them is certainly writing. I love your sense of humor that always comes across in your writings as well, you give us lots to think about and apply to our own lives but you do it in a fun way.
    I love what the woman wrote about you being beautiful and how to keep telling yourself and someday you will believe it. I think it’s very important to realize how beautiful and special you are in God’s eyes the most, I know I had an experience about a month ago at a Bible study with friends and one of my friends was asking us to say that we were God’s beauties, that He thought of us as beautiful and while I know I was in a tender state emotionally, that statement brought tears to my eyes and I couldn’t say it out loud and I realized that the enemy would like nothing more than to keep us from seeing and knowing who we are in Christ.
    I for one promise to tell you as often as you need to hear it that you are beautiful because you are very beautiful to me not just in physical appearence but as a mom and worship leader and writer to name a few. My prayer is that you will come to the place where you believe it without hesitation, not in a concieted way but in a biblical way. I love you Christa, you are beautiful inside and out.

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