Oh, my sweet kids… I wish I could say I’ve been and am perfect. The perfect mom. The perfect wife. The perfect friend and leader. Alas, while I’m sure you know, let me publicly acknowledge… I AM NOT PERFECT. 🙂
I want to share with you a time in which I had a choice to make. To revel in my imperfections and GO WITH them, or surrender my life completely to Him who is perfect.
It was the summer after we moved to Mechanicsburg. Emily was still a wee baby, Anna was working on potty training. I was feeling overwhelmed with life in general. I couldn’t seem to make one end fit another. I couldn’t find time to relax. I didn’t have friends, and I desperately missed those we left in Chambersburg a mere couple of months earlier. I was sinking… Deep into a pit where I almost couldn’t climb back out. As I was sitting on the couch looking outside, the car caught my eye. I heard a voice saying, “Go ahead, Christa. Just get in and drive away. No one would miss you. Josh will adjust. The kids will adjust. 500 miles, baby, just go.”
It was after that experience, I completely surrendered to Him. I turned at the couch to my knees, with tears running down my face acknowledging that HE was the only one to fill the holes in my heart. I totally, COMPLETELY said YES to Him that day. Of course, I loved and followed His Word, and accepted Him as Savior at a much earlier time in my life, but this day I was COMPLETELY desperate for Him to do the impossible in my life. I wish I could say that it was a once and done occurrence, but I’ve found, as I’m sure you will, too, it’s a daily thing. I surrender my wishes, dreams, and deepest longings. I surrender my time, energy, and talents. I surrender my anger, frustrations, and lack of sleep. I believe that in surrender comes COMPLETE freedom, and I’m SO thankful for the discipline of the Father who deeply loves me and sees me not just for who I am now but for who I can and WILL become.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11
May you always be ever mindful of the Heavenly Father’s unfailing love and may you surrender today to His love, discipline, and peace. Remember that your while your mommy isn’t perfect, she serves and wholeheartedly loves your Creator God and prays for you EVERYDAY.